Sex Addiction is a issue which is to be handled gently, often this issue is miss diagnosed or miss understood. Certain couples like to have sex three times a day, but that doesn’t mean that they are sex addicts. There are two groups of sex addiction, the first are those who believe that it is a really problem and the other is one who do not believe this issue is a problem. This issue is a real complicated issue, which needs to be handled carefully or else can lead to miss understanding. There is no proof that such a condition persists. This problem can’t be scientifically studied because different couple have different view point and sex satisfaction levels, ways to express sex. It is said, when you look at what sex addiction is their principles are found more or less as heterosexual, monogamous, long-term sex. Other types of sexual expression outside these borders could be interpreted as a sex addiction. Because of the media interference on this issue has made lots of couple worried.
Most of the spouses think that their partners who need sex daily are sex addicts, but such a condition is not sex addiction at all. Sex addiction is a stage where a person shows utmost attachment to sex and their sexual desires are so much that they even need outside sexual satisfactions. Such a situation mostly causes difficulties in normal life, stress in family, friends and disturbs work atmosphere too. Now a day’s an online test called Carne’s online test can ascertain sex addiction. Mere counselling will not help is such a situation a special Sex Addicts Anonymous program is needed. This program is a twelve step recovery process for sex addiction. Most of the people attending this program feel they are 100 percent completely open. They feel like they belong here. They are thankful to both groups who have taken away the embarrassment and shame of what was occurrence in their sex and their on the whole life. In such a situation, the husband sourced, harsh pressure on family, friends, loved ones and the work environment, as well as probably giving STIs to his partner.
It is a great relief to know that when somebody can get instant and free help if they experience their sexual behaviour is out of control. But, such a situation is the uncommon exemption and not the standard. For the verification, here are a few things that are usual sexual manners. First, a person likes to see or watch porn pictures or movies, if a person has very high sex force and wants sex extremely more than their partner and last but not the least, experiment with sex. Like heterosexual, cross monogamous boundaries and even would like to try swinging, S&M or cyber sex. In case any above mentioned situation is noticed it is not an unusual the couple can consult a professional counsellor or a sexologist. If you are certain that your problem is not so usual or you are dealing with sex addiction, then do remember recovery is not a quick process. Support of the partner and utmost dedication without any discontinues program is needed to fix the problem. This program may turn out to be a lengthy process, troubling, stressing to both the partners, but extreme commitment to fixing the problem and their relationship is needed. So hence forth if there is any news about sex addiction please don’t grin over the issue, it is a problem like any other issues in our life which need to be taken care off.
There is a big difference between sexual behavior and sexual addiction which most people fail to realize. They consider both of them to be one and the same thing. Even if some people are able to distinguish the two a lot of misconceptions regarding sexual addiction crop up in their mind. This has created a lot of controversies and debates both in and outside the gay community. So many sex therapists and sexual addiction specialists have come forward to bust the myths which are the main cause of so much emotional and social troubles.
Some common myths related to sex addictions
Sex addiction is nothing more than a psychological phenomenon mainly dealing with out-of-control sexual behavior. The common symptoms are unsuccessful attempts to stop unwanted sexual behavior, loss of mental control regarding sexual aspects, sexually transmitted diseases, legal and relationship problems. There are several myths that come up in the minds of many regarding sexual addiction some of which worth mentioning are as follows:
Myth:1 Sex addicts have a disgusting behavior
The first thing that comes in our mind when we try to picturize a sex addict is a middle-aged frustrated and disgusting pervert who has an insatiable desire to have sex. This is generally the case unless you happen to know one of them personally. Though this description holds true for many sex addicts but most of them are normal men and women living a normal life like most of us and struggling to get over their everyday life. But deep in their mind there is one thought that they desperately hope that sex did not constitute a major part of their lives and that someday they will get completely healed up.
Myth:2 Sexual addictions are hereditary
One of the biggest myths is that these uncontrolled sexual behaviors are derived from the parents. But this thought is absolutely senseless as it has nothing to do with the parent’s behavior as this is entirely upon the nature of the individual to derive such behavior by themselves. There are several million alcohol addict parents whose children donot get addicted to any kind of drugs or alcohol.
Myth:3 The only solution to such problem is by getting married
Many people are of the opinion that getting in to some kind of intimate relationship or by getting married one can overcome the problem of sexual addiction. But that is not so in this case as most sex addicts find themselves into severe relationship problems with their spouse soon after their marriage as they end up getting into some outside relationship in order to satisfy their never ending desire for sex. This eventually leads to destruction of both their personal and social status.
Myth:4 Self-control is the only way out
Another serious myth that needs to be busted is that sex addicts need to grow self-control within them in order to get rid of this disgusting behavior. But it is just the opposite as they need a helping hand to get them out of this uncontrolled behavior. What people don’t understand is that the lack of self-control within them is what has led to such insatiable sexual behavior. Although the addict is in no way lacking personal responsibility, yet he thinks that trying to be more controlled or being spiritual can lead to further uncontrolled behavior within him ultimately leading to disastrous consequences. Just the right guidance at the right time can help him get rid of this nature.
Myth:5 This behavior ispermanent
The greatest myth that comes up in the mind of the spouse is that the behavior of their partner is just incurable and this will continue lifelong. So soon after getting to know of their partner’s behavior they think separation or divorce to be the only solution. But in reality most of these relationships don’t end up in divorce, instead a lot of complications arise between the partners leading to an unhealthy relationship. Undertaking proper recovery techniques like transparency, clear confessions, consulting a professional therapist, being spiritually sound and certain other ways can help change the behavior of both men and women.
Myth:6 You are your only solution
The fact that you can deal with such problems on your own is a big myth in itself. These things are so sensitive that people shy away from sharing their improper sexual behavior; rather they prefer to neglect it and leave everything on the hands of faith. But it is the responsibility of the spouse to make his partner fell comfortable enough to share with him such private issues so that a joint effort can be made to find a solution to such problem. An alternate option is to take the help of spiritual and professional experts to overcome such barriers in life.
Myth:7 Positive addictions are always good
As sexual behavior is known to have positive effects on the body, mind and soul many people are of the opinion that positive addictions are good for the human well-being but the true fact is that no addictions give out positive results and needs to be nipped in the bud to avoid any future complications.
Some general suggestions
According to research studies done by a research journal about 90 percent males and 30 percent females admitted viewing pornography, crossing all religious, social and educational barriers. It might sound quite easy to avoid such behavioral instability but actually we need to take this issue seriously and act responsibly to avoid any kind of emotional, social and relationship complication. There are several ways available to get rid of such problems and more ways are being developed through continuous research studies and on-field experiments to find permanent solution. The society itself needs to change their mindset regarding such complicated and sensitive issues and discuss them openly by organizing seminars and debates to clean the social environment of any myths and wrong opinions that is making these issues even more serious and utterly impossible to deal with. Each and every people need to stand up for such cause and bring about a change worldwide.